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Dear Merry Maker,

Thanks for dropping by! I perennially have food and drink in my likes, so I’m excited for this! If you’d like to get to know me more as a reader, I’m asuralucier on Ao3. My gifts are great; my bookmarks are great. Check it all out! I’m always here for fic I didn’t know I wanted, so as long as you avoid my DNWs, the world is your oyster (food pun? Why yes, I’m here all week.)

My DNWs are:

-Non-con, anything sexual involving animals, the toilet, tentacles, non-human biology, underage (sexual activities between characters under 16; references/implications fine).
-Second person POV - this is defined as having the narrating character take up the perspective of “You.” If they are talking aloud and happen to mention “you” to an imaginary audience or something that’s fine.
-Non-canonical kid characters. A note on canonical kids - I’m happy for them to turn up, but I’d rather them not take over the plot. (This doesn’t count for the Rhoald Dahl crossovers.)
-Character bashing by narrative. Piss-taking fine and encouraged!
-Modern/Mundane AUs or AUs involving space, zombies, werecreatures, or a/b/o dynamics. If you want to have the characters still meet cute in a cafe in-universe or everything is the same except one character is a vampire, then please do! As long as I can recognise the world as canon I will be happy.

General Likes (by no means a complete list):

+ Sexual Tension - Happy for it to be angsty, cracky, anything in between. Just make me squirm while I totally want the characters to bang.
+Literary/Philosophical Allusions, extended metaphors, color theory, wordplay/banter, absurdity - the more obscure the better! I also love characters who read and/or have weird jobs. Pack in a strange little detail somewhere and I’m sure I’ll love it.
+___!Porn: Identity porn, suit porn, food porn, drinks porn, locations porn? Is that a thing? I just like lush descriptions of things.
+Angst. I love love angst. Give me all the angst. Reasons for angst can include: moral ambiguity, guilt, failed ambitions, infidelity, thoughtful portrayals of grief, depression, PTSD, lost loves and all the rest. I also don't mind character death, but please please don't let it be a cheap plot point for angst.
+Smut likes: teasing, helping each other undress/ruined clothing/frottage, blow jobs, tattoo licking, sex in semi public places, voyeurism, phone sex/voice kink, fluid sexual dynamics (no strict top/bottom roles), edging, pain kink/painplay, rimming (for m/m ships only), fingering, cunnilingus, awkward sex, overstimulation, dubious consent (defined as the character being dub-conned still having some form of agency, even if s/he doesn’t have all the information to hand.), differences in sexual experience, sensory deprivation, roleplaying, breathplay/choking
+Other things that I like that are hard to categorise: loyalty/friendship/ride or die, mindgames, locked room scenario, non-linear narrative, epistolary, crack treated seriously, character study, in universe meta, crapsack worlds, worldbuilding, for want a nail.

****

Fandom: What If…? Series -- David Ma (Youtube)

This is a series of recipe videos inspired by filmmakers with distinct styles. They are viewable here. What strikes me about each of these videos is how well food is worked into the style, that food is part of the story. So honestly, take this as a carte blanche to tell me about the people who eat or cook these foods. As long as it’s a story you like telling with a bit of Wes Anderson twee or Taratino OTT I’m here for it! Some of the requested tags have stories baked in, and some don’t -- I’m also opting in for any fandom that I’ve ever written for on my Ao3 page as long as these videos are at the heart of whatever has inspired you!

Fandom: Ratatouille (2007)

This is my favourite Disney Pixar film ever ever. When the movie came out, I went and bought a Remy plushie and thirteen years later, it still goes where I go. This should tell you how much I love this movie and how little you can go wrong as long as you like this movie too!

For Remy and Linguini, I would adore Linguini trying to properly cook for Remy (and perhaps Remy’s family because human food has a lot of portions! I have such a thing for maybe Linguini cooking omelettes because that’s the first thing that Remy made for him. I’m just looking for nice friendship things here! Maybe Linguini gets shrunk somehow and they go on a mighty food adventure? I’m also down for them visiting other countries and trying out food. Maybe Linguini stars on an Anthony Bourdain like show with Remy as his buddy?

For Selene/Collette, I’m...sure this is so out of left field, but I like the idea of them being maybe around the same age and for whatever reason and culinary schoolmates. Why did Selene leave the kitchen while Collette stayed there? Maybe they were roommates? What kind of hangover cures did they experiment with? What kind of lavish breakfasts do they make each other? Maybe Collette in her younger days worked at a takeaway, and Selene tries to write nice things about their bad pizza that Collette knows is bad as a terrible flirting technique but still, there’s a connection there...honestly, the possibilities are endless. Or maybe they meet on the set of Great British Bake Off or Masterchef (insert country here) and bond over being French.

For Anton Ego/Selene - I don’t know, maybe they keep breaking up and making up at Gusteau’s. I keep imagining them in the plot of You’ve Got Mail, but with more food. Or in a more canon compliant, post-movie route, maybe Ego tries to tell Selene about Remy and they get back together. (Please make Ego as prickly as you’d like, it’s my favourite thing about him, but maybe Selene takes no shit.)

Fandom: Midnight Diner

I love this show. I love the concept of the diner and how it seems to be a hub for exploring all facets of the human condition without judgment. Most of all, I love the Foooooood the Master makes. I am a fan of Japanese food, and I love my chawamushi as much as the next person, but I”m also interested in watching the Master make other foods from different cultures. For example, guys, did you know that Haggis is big in Japan? Or that it has its own cheese? I’m up for all of those things.

You could tell me anything about the Master and I would be happy. You could tell me how he used to cook at a rundown karaoke bar, has yakuza connections, used to be famous abroad...anything really. Or maybe he shuts down the diner wanting to go travelling. Why is this? How do his patrons cope without him? Who ends up being a weirdly good cook?

Speaking of patrons, I have seen all three seasons, so surprise me! Is there anyone who’s your favourite? If there is, I want to spend time with them! I’d love it if a patron becomes the Master’s apprentice, or maybe a patron goes out of his or her way to help the Master promote his business by setting up social media...and then maybe good intentions go awry but it’s still definitely good intentions. Or tell me about a patron that we haven’t seen onscreen! As long as you come up with somebody who likes food, I’m sure the Master and I will like them fine.

Tadashi (the old guy with a cap) seems to have been coming to the diner for years! What’s his deal? I am enamoured by the idea that he might have been the Master’s first customer over the years and has witnessed a lot of the changes about the place. I’m also up for a sad piece where the Master cooks Tadashi his last meal and Tadashi dies or something. I’ve nom’d only & but I don’t mind if you keep it ambiguous/pre-slash ish if that strikes your fancy.

There’s a policeman’s tent nearby the diner. Who drops by after his shift? What’s the policeman’s favourite dish and why?

Fandom: Death Note

So like...I’d love this anime for years and was labouring under the misconception that Wammy’s house was somehow in Manchester, UK instead of Winchester, down south near London and uh, yeah. No offense to all you London lot, but you are BORING. Tell me about L & Watari, or Near and Mello trying any of these foods. Tell me about Near and Mello growing up and their messes in the kitchen. Tell me about L actually being a decent pastry person or that he tempers chocolate for fun because it helps him concentrate on a case. Or you could even tell me about L and Light sharing a Ratatouille moment. Because aw.

I’m also interested to read about either L or Light eating in a not very healthy way. I’m all for overeating or undereating, but I’d like for these things not to be treated in a sexual way.

I really want to know about the time when Sayu discovers her brother’s potato crisps habit as...not okay? Like, it’s not healthy to eat 20 bags of potato crisps a day okay. This needs an INTERVENTION.

For Ryuk and Light...maybe Ryuk discovers the amazing wonderfulness that is McDonald’s Apple Pie. Or he gets addicted to food programmes much to Light’s chagrin.

Fandom: In Bruges (2008)

I adore this movie. I love how Irish it is, and how Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson just seem to be having so much fun, even if they’re in Bruges. Speaking of, what kind of horrifying food does their B&B serve?

I just want to be a fly on the wall that once when Ken tells Ray that he’s a vegetarian or a vegan to support his wife. I just think it’s funny. Or maybe Ray has a peanut allergy and Ken has to deal.

On a more sour note, what kind of food/drink do they turn to when they need some comfort, or for when something goes really really wrong? I have no idea why, but I’m really into Ken as a liver guy if you don’t think he’s a vegetarian. Massive bonus points if Ken got into liver by reading James Joyce. Let’s just Irish it up.

Either of them being in a food eating competition would do me nice.

Fandom: Hannibal

I don’t remember which flash exchange it was, but I want Hannibal and Will to have KFC. Maybe it’s their first meal post-fall and Hannibal is trying to accommodate Will’s baser instincts but my goodness, it’s hard. I don’t know if angsty crack is a thing that works, but if you have that in your arsenal please just go for it. I requested sour because I don’t think anything about this canon is particularly happy, but I’m happy for you to think outside of the box.

I saw the spicy tag, and then I thought of nyotaimori. This is traditionally done on a female body, but I just want Will and Hannibal to bastardise this tradition and use it as a sexy trust exercise. Bonus points if you can work in blasphemous theology references because you know they so would. Body of Christ blah blah. I don’t care who is eating off of whom; Will makes sense to be eaten off of but I’m happy to be convinced.

Sickfic, basically as literal as you’d like! We see a lot of Hannibal doting on Will in a creepy way but we never see it the other way around. What kind of food does Will cook Hannibal when Hannibal is ill? I’m also a fan of Munchausen by proxy so would love to see a version of that where Will is making Hannibal ill through food, and maybe Hannibal knows, but can’t quite see through the rod in his eye. I’m sure you can come up with something.

Fandom: Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

You know what, this was my least favourite Wes Anderson movie having enjoyed all of his other films. But I rewatched this recently and I love it now. Anything that apes Anderson’s style, in that it takes everything serious would just do me so fab. I don’t know why, but I’m really craving fics along the lines of 5+1 times character A and character B shared a meal or a drink. I think the structure really helps.

For Ned & Eleanor, I...am so intrigued by the fact that Eleanor comes out with “but you know Steve shoots blanks” NEAR THE END OF THE FILM and it never comes up again. To that end, I would love to see any interaction between the two throughout the film, maybe punctuated by suspicious cocktails and David Bowie. What does Ned want? Why does Eleanor keep his secret? Why does anyone do anything in this film?

For Nico/ or & Anne Marie, they seem to be the two most normal people who have ended up on this boat/submarine. I’d just love them hanging out and demolishing Anne Marie’s secret stash of potato crisps or chocolate. Or maybe it’s just UST between them until the end of the film and then Nico finds her again and takes her out to a seafood restaurant. “No, I definitely don’t have PTSD.”

For Klaus Daimler/Alistair Hennessey, I dunno. The worst courtship in the world as Alistair tries to woo Klaus to a better run organisation that actually has money. Alastair just really needs some German ingenuity in his life, okay, no reason. I’m also down for a post film thing where Alistair keeps taking Klaus out to lunch to increasingly outlandish locations (“We can totally make it to Hawaii for lunch. Have you ever had Poke?”) to thank him for saving his life. Mostly I want someone to appreciate Klaus because Steve is an arse.

Fandom: Crossover Fandom

I’ve been having a blast with revisiting Rhoald Dahl recently! And then it occurs to me that most of his characters can probably hang out and be fine. Obviously, the canonical kids DNW does not apply here as these kids are the protagonists of the works! I’m happy to have them be the age they are, or aged up, but please still be mindful of my no underage DNW. (Charlie and whoever can definitely kiss though.)

For Danny (Danny the Champion of the World) & Matilda Wormwood (Matilda), I’d love anything that fuses the books together. Maybe they attend the some school, and maybe Matilda spends time with Danny and his father at the caravan for some reprieve from her own family. I just really love the idea of Danny playing the protective big brother role and looking out for Matilda. I love Matilda bringing Danny some food after run ins with the Trunchbull. I love them eat the steak and egg pie or the chocolate cake. I’d love Matilda and Danny rescuing Danny’s father after a poaching mission gone wrong. I love Matilda sharing her powers with Danny and maybe they prank people together.

For Danny/Charlie, I love the idea of Danny growing up to be a food journalist, moving to London, and Charlie still running the Chocolate Factory feeling a bit lonely. I’d love anything in an experimental style, where Danny writes an article about Charlie the slightly less elusive owner of Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Or maybe they’re still kids and Danny goes there on a visit with his Dad.

For James/Charlie, I just love the idea of them hanging out in New York when they’re older, bonding over how American sweets are too sweet and generally running around. Maybe they start a long distance thing where Charlie just sends James chocolate. James’s friends could be there too!

Fandom: Masterchef Australia

This show ate (aha) my life. But honestly, these tags are great, and I find Aussie English so fascinating. Anything that celebrates food, down under, and positivity would be right up my alley. I’m all for rivalries, silly aprons (I WAS TAUGHT BY GRANDMA printed on an apron> Yes please.) Stealing food from each other? Helping each other as the clock runs down? One contestant used to be on Bachelor Australia just for the lols or Survivor? Completely here for everything.

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