Yuletide 2019

[iomixit]

Dear Yuletide Author

Hello and thank you for stopping by! I can’t wait to see what you come up with! All these tiny fandoms are near and dear to me and if my specifics don’t strike you, feel free to pick and choose from my general likes. I hope there’s something there that will inspire you. Failing all that, ODAO and I tend to enjoy fic more when I know writers enjoy writing, so as long as you don’t hit my DNWs, the world is your oyster. If you would like to get to know me better as a writer/reader, I’m asuralucier on Ao3.

My DNWs Are
-Non-con, anything sexual involving animals, the toilet, tentacles, non-human biology
-Second person POV
-Non-canonical kid characters
-Character bashing by narrative. Piss-taking fine and encouraged!
-Modern/Mundane AUs or AUs involving space, zombies, werecreatures, or a/b/o dynamics. If you wanted to have the characters still meet cute in a cafe in-universe or everything is the same except one character is a vampire, then please do! As long as I can recognise the world as canon I will be happy.

General Likes (by no means an exhaustive list.)
+Unresolved Sexual Tension - Happy for it to be angsty, cracky, perennially unresolved, or resolved with gusto! Just make me squirm while I totally want the characters to bang.
+Literary/Philosophical Allusions, extended metaphors, color theory, wordplay/banter, absurdity - the more obscure the better! I also love characters who read and/or have weird jobs. Pack in a strange little detail somewhere and I’m sure I’ll love it.
+___!Porn: Identity porn, suit porn, food porn, drinks porn, locations porn? Is that a thing? I just like lush descriptions of things.
+Angst. I love love angst. Give me all the angst. Reasons for angst can include: moral ambiguity, guilt, failed ambitions, thoughtful portrayals of grief, depression, PTSD, lost loves and all the rest. I also don't mind character death, but please please don't let it be a cheap plot point for angst.
+Other things that I like that are hard to categorise: loyalty/friendship/ride or die, mindgames, locked room scenario, non-linear narrative, epistolary, crack treated seriously, character study, genfic, in universe meta, crapsack worlds, worldbuilding, for want a nail
+Smut Likes: teasing, helping each other undress/ruined clothing/frottage, blow jobs, tattoo licking, sex in semi public places, voyeurism, phone sex, fluid sexual dynamics, edging, pain kink/painplay, rimming (for m/m ships only), fingering, cunnilingus, awkward sex, overstimulation, dubious consent (defined as the character being dub-conned still having some form of agency, even if s/he doesn’t have all the information to hand.)

Fandom: The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - J. G. Jopling, Dmitri Desgoffe und Taxis

This is my favourite Wes Anderson movie OF ALL TIME. Not least because it’s so obviously inspired by the works of Stefan Zweig. But also because it has a Willem Dafoe shaped person doing bad things. I am equally interested in both gen interactions between Dmitri and Jopling as well as shipfic.

Someone tell me how they met. For whatever reason I am thinking a Sherlock-Holmes style thing where Jopling is an extra-competent Sebastian Moran type who really wants Dmitri to be his Moriarty, but Dmitri is just not all there.

Or, I mean, Hooker AUs-except in universe are a bulletproof like of mine, so if you can make that work, you’ll basically get my firstborn. Perhaps highlighting social classes in Zubrowka where Dmitri has the misguided notion that everyone who is poorer than him is somehow a hooker and Jopling just doesn’t understand.

Zubrowka is the name of a Polish vodka. I just want them to get drunk, okay.

How does Jopling come to acquire the title ‘Private Inquiry Agent?’ My kingdom if he just got his business cards printed wrong (and it’s obviously Dmitri’s fault).

Dmitri loses his mustache/runs out of mustache care products and it’s like wartime so these things are rationed. Woe. (Bonus for sexy shaving or a superbly serious angsty take on this Big Problem). Or maybe Jopling organizes a smuggling ring to get various products into the country, I don’t know.

Fandom: Clouds of Sils Maria (2014) - Maria Enders, Valentine

When I first watched this movie a couple of years ago, I was struck by how much Maloja Snake the play impacted both Maria and Valentine without being overwrought or kitsch. This is THE CANON for identity porn and exploring what it means to retain a sense of self in the spotlight, plus possibly unhealthy boss/employee dynamics also alluded to in Maloja Snake? Yum. I am interested primarily in shipfic for Maria and Valentine but if a gen idea grips you, go for it.

How does Valentine come to work for Maria? Headcanon is that Valentine is a huge fan of Maria’s work and that’s always impressed Maria, but one of the sticking points in Sils Maria seems to be Valentine developing different interpretations from Maria. Off the back of that, is Valentine outgrowing Maria? What does Valentine think about this?

Clothes sharing! I would love Maria accidentally borrowing a band t-shirt from Valentine and then causing a bit of a PR disaster. Fleshing that out, perhaps Valentine introduces Maria to rock music? I have no idea but I love the idea of Valentine being into things like the Stranglers, Queens of the Stone Age etc.

Pre-Canon where Maria has to shoot a sex scene with someone and the intimacy coach (apparently this is a thing) says that she’s not convicing. Valentine helps! Bonus point if Maria’s co-star is a (version of a) real person - I particularly would enjoy someone like Tilda Swinton, Louis Garrel, Asia Argento, or someone completely out of left field like Brad Pitt or Christian Bale or Cate Blanchett.

Whatever happened to Valentine? Would be over the moon with a creepy piece if Maria is repeatedly haunted by Valentine’s presence during the revival of Maloja Snake.

Fandom: Fleabag (TV) - Fleabag, Claire, Boo, Priest

This is the absolute best thing I’ve watched all year. They absolutely do not have to show up all in the same fic, but I would not say no if they did. I don’t think I dislike anyone in this show, including the delightfully terrible Godmother. So everyone can turn up if you’d like!

Speaking of: first Christmas post-canon? Claire visits with Klare, Godmother burns the turkey, Fleabag runs into the Priest and/or the Bank Manager while trying to scout for a last minute ham and invites him/them back for dinner? Creepy Jake shows up? I don’t even know. Just give me an awkward Christmas dinner and I’ll just love you.

I still really want Fleabag/Priest fic from God’s POV. It probably works for this show.

Anything that springboards off of Boo’s “I’ll take it,” when Fleabag doesn’t know where to put the love for her mother. All the snarky hurt/comfort please. Or just more of their friendship/friendship becoming more in general. Or maybe Boo doesn’t die and is just in a coma?

Pre-canon with Fleabag snarkily commentating on Claire’s disastrous wedding to Martin in general please. Boo can be there too! Maybe the awful food at reception is what inspires them to become cafe owners?

I just want Fleabag and the Priest as friends (who sometimes have sex by accident). More clothes sharing? (I’m sure the Catholic Church will approve!)

44-Inch Chest (2009): Meredith, Old Man Peanut, Colin Diamond, Loverboy

Oh my goodness, is is a terrible movie that would have been a fantastic play; it is full of zingers and probably with a bit more fisticuffs would have been a great movie. Out of the four characters, I would be interested in the following permutations: Meredith /& everyone, Colin /& Loverboy, Old Man Peanut & Colin Diamond, or even an ensemble piece that maybe includes Archie and Mal as well.

At one point, resident gayngster Meredith played by the venerable Ian McShane says to John Hurt’s Peanut: “What I do with my nine-and-a-half has fuck all to do with you.” BUT LIKE WHAT IF IT DOES? I love how despite their antagonism and Peanut’s deep-seated bigotry, Peanut still agrees to go to a gay bar with Meredith because he wants something to eat. I don’t understand. So clearly there must be creaky old man porn. (Also maybe Peanut and Meredith accidentally banged in the 80s.)

I adored the scene with Meredith trying to calm Colin down. All the voice kink yes please? Has this happened before? Perhaps post-film Colin accidentally moves in with Meredith and is annoyed at all the sex he has. Or maybe Colin endeavours to help Meredith feel things and this may or may not lead to porn.

Colin and Loverboy keep running into each other after the film. Loverboy does work in a restaurant so maybe Colin just likes the restaurant? Or maybe Loverboy gets a new job at Colin’s favourite pizza place. I don’t know.

Ensemble idea: the gang go to the cinema/mini-golfing/some other social activity/finds Meredith doing the guy who sells popcorn in the gent’s, and gets kicked out? I’m so impressed that despite how much they seem to dislike each other they still hang out.

Meredith dubcons Loverboy post-film for the lols. Bonus for Colin’s reaction.