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Chocolate Box 2021
Dear Chocolatier,
Many thanks for dropping by, whether it’s because we’ve matched or you’re contemplating a treat. Whatever the case, you’re already awesome and I love all these tiny fandoms with all my heart. If you’d like to get a sense of me, I’m asuralucier on Ao3.
This year, I’m requesting the following fandoms: 44-Inch Chest (2009), Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV), In Bruges (2008), アグレッシブ烈子 | Aggretsuko (Anime), John Wick (Movies)
My DNWs are as follows:
-Non-con, anything sexual involving animals, the toilet, tentacles, non-human biology, underage (sexual activities between characters under 16; references/implications fine).
-Second person POV - this is defined as having the narrating character take up the perspective of “You.” If they are talking aloud and happen to mention “you” to an imaginary audience or something that’s fine.
-Non-canonical kid characters. A note on canonical kids - I’m happy for them to turn up, but I’d rather them not take over the plot.
-Character bashing by narrative. Piss-taking fine and encouraged!
-Modern/Mundane AUs or AUs involving space, zombies, werecreatures, or a/b/o dynamics. If you want to have the characters still meet cute in a cafe in-universe or everything is the same except one character is a vampire, then please do! As long as I can recognise the world as canon I will be happy.
General Likes (by no means a complete list):
+ Sexual Tension - Happy for it to be angsty, cracky, anything in between. Just make me squirm while I totally want the characters to bang.
+Literary/Philosophical Allusions, extended metaphors, color theory, wordplay/banter, absurdity - the more obscure the better! I also love characters who read and/or have weird jobs. Pack in a strange little detail somewhere and I’m sure I’ll love it.
+___!Porn: Identity porn, suit porn, food porn, drinks porn, locations porn? Is that a thing? I just like lush descriptions of things.
+Angst. I love love angst. Give me all the angst. Reasons for angst can include: moral ambiguity, guilt, failed ambitions, infidelity, thoughtful portrayals of grief, depression, PTSD, lost loves and all the rest. I also don't mind character death, but please please don't let it be a cheap plot point for angst.
+Humour: but I also like fun, characters who don’t take themselves too seriously, and people who have the ability to see the absurdity in their situations.
+Smut likes: teasing, helping each other undress/ruined clothing/frottage, blow jobs, tattoo licking, sex in semi public places, voyeurism, phone sex/voice kink, fluid sexual dynamics (no strict top/bottom roles), edging, pain kink/painplay, rimming (for m/m ships only), fingering, cunnilingus, awkward sex, overstimulation, dubious consent (defined as the character being dub-conned still having some form of agency, even if s/he doesn’t have all the information to hand.), differences in sexual experience, sensory deprivation, roleplaying, breathplay/choking
+Other things that I like that are hard to categorise: loyalty/friendship/ride or die, mindgames, locked room scenario, non-linear narrative, epistolary, crack treated seriously, character study, in universe meta, crapsack worlds, worldbuilding, for want a nail, pining, dramatic irony.
Fandom: 44-Inch Chest (2009): Colin Diamond/Loverboy, Colin Diamond & Loverboy, Colin Diamond/Meredith, Loverboy/Meredith, Meredith/Peanut
Oh my goodness, this is a terrible movie that would have been a fantastic play; it is full of zingers and probably with a bit more fisticuffs would have been a great movie.
At one point, resident gayngster Meredith played by the venerable Ian McShane says to John Hurt’s Peanut: “What I do with my nine-and-a-half has fuck all to do with you.” BUT LIKE WHAT IF IT DOES? I love how despite their antagonism and Peanut’s deep-seated bigotry, Peanut still agrees to go to a gay bar with Meredith because he wants something to eat. I don’t understand. So clearly there must be creaky old man porn. (Also maybe Peanut and Meredith accidentally banged in the 80s.)
I adored the scene with Meredith trying to calm Colin down. All the voice kink yes please? Has this happened before? Perhaps post-film Colin accidentally moves in with Meredith and is annoyed at all the sex he has. Or maybe Colin endeavours to help Meredith feel things and this may or may not lead to porn.
Colin and Loverboy keep running into each other after the film. Loverboy does work in a restaurant so maybe Colin just likes the restaurant? Or maybe Loverboy gets a new job at Colin’s favourite pizza place. I don’t know.
Meredith dubcons Loverboy post-film for the lols. Bonus for Colin’s reaction. Or maybe they were already special “friends” by the time Colin masterminds the kidnapping. What changes?
Fandom: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV): Josh Chan/Nathaniel Plimpton III, Josh Groban & Santa Ana Winds
I love this show. I especially love Josh and Nathaniel’s friendship towards the end of the show and I want to see more! I feel like they’d get along fantastically together. I’d love nighttime adventures at the zoo; maybe they accidentally acquire a hot dog truck and go on a road trip? Two guys who watch a lot of sports together are...just two guys who watch a lot of sports together! I mean, what gives with everyone thinking they’re dating?
Josh Groban & the Santa Ana Winds guy is a combination that wins at life. I’d love to see anything. Whether they have downtime and keep meeting up at Serrano’s, or they team up to heckle other people for their bad decisions. Or maybe Santa Ana takes Josh shopping for something snazzier so that he isn't stuck in his walk of shame outfit all the time? Feel free to get as absurd as you like!
I also like everyone on this show, so if you have a favorite and want to write about them to fill out the plot feel free! My faves if you’d like some guidance are Heather, George, Dr. Akopian (I guess both of them), Santino-shaped Greg, and Grocery Clerk with half an eyelid, Josh’s Mom. (I mean, can you imagine Nathaniel giving good parent? I think it totally works.)
Fandom: In Bruges (2008): Ken & or / Ray
I adore this movie. I love how rude and cynical it is, but I also love that our um, heroes feel very human. The fact that Martin McDonagh probably wrote this as a fic to satisfy the trope ONLY ONE BED is beautiful. I really like the way Ken and Ray take care of each other in spite of the fact they’re in a cutthroat business. Literally. I ship them but then again, I also really enjoy friendship fic, so please don’t feel obligated towards one or the other.
I live for awkward sex, and I feel like Ken/Ray are prime candidates for this. I’m all over hooker AUs as backstory, they realize that being sexually active with each other really annoys Harry, etc. I’m also very into fake dating while undercover, or maybe accidentally getting married in Vegas or Blackpool, or getting married for realisies so they don’t have to testify against each other in court.
Uh, maybe I missed the point of the movie, but please someone give me a fix-it. The one where Ray gets out of his scuffle and Ken somehow lives. Go wild.
The kid doesn’t die, but is severely wounded. Knowing Harry’s rule on children, how do they deal? Breaking my no kids rule for this, I just find this possibility fascinating.
Fandom: アグレッシブ烈子 | Aggretsuko (Anime): Haida/Tadano
Idk why but I ship Retsuko’s...somewhat exes? I thought them getting ramen in Hokkaido was cute and Tadano didn’t have to give him a lift back in his private helicopter but he did! I think more than liking Retsuko, Haida probably really wants someone to spoil him and Tadano could be that person. So give me them going to karaoke, accidentally getting drunk together, ENNIO judging them something fierce, and social media blowing up with Tadano’s new relationship.
Or just for the lols, Tadano buys Haida’s firm when Haida complains about his job being too hard. EVERYONE ELSE IS SHOCKED.
(I’d also be up for Retsuko finding out, but I’d like to stress that I like canon’s reasoning for why she isn’t with either guy, and I’d like her not to be bashed. I’d also like matchmaking!Retsuko or Fenneko if that strikes your fancy, I think it totally fits and lol if they approaches this like a dating sim.)
Fandom specific DNWs: Anything E-rated/explicit sexual content. Please fade to black and don’t think too hard about anatomy and how things work. If Tadano refers to Retsuko by a nickname, please use Ret-chan instead of Retsy.
Fandom: John Wick (Movies): John Wick/Marcus, John Wick & Marcus
Can I just say, I’ve been nominating them for ages and then someone else has gone and done it! Who are you??? Seriously though, these two are forever faves and I’d be interested in either the / or & variant.
For & - I’d love to hear about how John learned to be a sniper. As that’s Marcus’s speciality, it makes sense that John would at least kind of know how to defend at long range but...1.) we never see him do it in the movies (at least not that I know? Feel free to prove me wrong) and 2.) it just doesn’t seem very John Wick like. How exactly did Marcus get his way in the end? It could be as absurd as “John broke his leg during ballet and can’t run around aha.” He’s gonna sit there okay, and learn patience.
I’d love John teaching Marcus how to be a dog person. IDK.
Marcus attempts to put John on a diet. Or maybe pre canon mentorfic requires Marcus to introduce John to food outside of the Theatre. Honestly I’m just a big fan of watching Keanu Reeves eat. I’m sure Willem feels the same.
Marcus during a mission says “I’m something of a scientist myself” and John shoots him off the roof. Make this work, and you’ll just...be amazing.
For / - Just copying over from Smut4Smut because want!
-Helen dies; John goes to Marcus and asks for sex. Make it as messy (both as emotionally and physically) as you'd like.
-John doesn't deal well with retirement. Marcus doesn't deal well with not having John to snark at. This leads to many unhealthy decisions but mostly sex.
-Marcus and John play a version of the penis game (for the uninitiated it's where you progressively shout 'penis' louder in a public space until someone gives you the Evil Eye). Their version includes actual hand jobs, blow jobs etc.
-I don't know why, but I like the idea of the mutual masturbation tag coming into play after failed awkward sex.
And for the wacky off the wall? Marcus is a Shinigami who follows John around JW 2 & 3. Because Jesus Harold Christ. (Yes, I’ll keep asking until I get it. :D)
Or maybe John keeps reliving JW 1 over and over again until he realizes Marcus can’t really be saved.
Many thanks for dropping by, whether it’s because we’ve matched or you’re contemplating a treat. Whatever the case, you’re already awesome and I love all these tiny fandoms with all my heart. If you’d like to get a sense of me, I’m asuralucier on Ao3.
This year, I’m requesting the following fandoms: 44-Inch Chest (2009), Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV), In Bruges (2008), アグレッシブ烈子 | Aggretsuko (Anime), John Wick (Movies)
My DNWs are as follows:
-Non-con, anything sexual involving animals, the toilet, tentacles, non-human biology, underage (sexual activities between characters under 16; references/implications fine).
-Second person POV - this is defined as having the narrating character take up the perspective of “You.” If they are talking aloud and happen to mention “you” to an imaginary audience or something that’s fine.
-Non-canonical kid characters. A note on canonical kids - I’m happy for them to turn up, but I’d rather them not take over the plot.
-Character bashing by narrative. Piss-taking fine and encouraged!
-Modern/Mundane AUs or AUs involving space, zombies, werecreatures, or a/b/o dynamics. If you want to have the characters still meet cute in a cafe in-universe or everything is the same except one character is a vampire, then please do! As long as I can recognise the world as canon I will be happy.
General Likes (by no means a complete list):
+ Sexual Tension - Happy for it to be angsty, cracky, anything in between. Just make me squirm while I totally want the characters to bang.
+Literary/Philosophical Allusions, extended metaphors, color theory, wordplay/banter, absurdity - the more obscure the better! I also love characters who read and/or have weird jobs. Pack in a strange little detail somewhere and I’m sure I’ll love it.
+___!Porn: Identity porn, suit porn, food porn, drinks porn, locations porn? Is that a thing? I just like lush descriptions of things.
+Angst. I love love angst. Give me all the angst. Reasons for angst can include: moral ambiguity, guilt, failed ambitions, infidelity, thoughtful portrayals of grief, depression, PTSD, lost loves and all the rest. I also don't mind character death, but please please don't let it be a cheap plot point for angst.
+Humour: but I also like fun, characters who don’t take themselves too seriously, and people who have the ability to see the absurdity in their situations.
+Smut likes: teasing, helping each other undress/ruined clothing/frottage, blow jobs, tattoo licking, sex in semi public places, voyeurism, phone sex/voice kink, fluid sexual dynamics (no strict top/bottom roles), edging, pain kink/painplay, rimming (for m/m ships only), fingering, cunnilingus, awkward sex, overstimulation, dubious consent (defined as the character being dub-conned still having some form of agency, even if s/he doesn’t have all the information to hand.), differences in sexual experience, sensory deprivation, roleplaying, breathplay/choking
+Other things that I like that are hard to categorise: loyalty/friendship/ride or die, mindgames, locked room scenario, non-linear narrative, epistolary, crack treated seriously, character study, in universe meta, crapsack worlds, worldbuilding, for want a nail, pining, dramatic irony.
Fandom: 44-Inch Chest (2009): Colin Diamond/Loverboy, Colin Diamond & Loverboy, Colin Diamond/Meredith, Loverboy/Meredith, Meredith/Peanut
Oh my goodness, this is a terrible movie that would have been a fantastic play; it is full of zingers and probably with a bit more fisticuffs would have been a great movie.
At one point, resident gayngster Meredith played by the venerable Ian McShane says to John Hurt’s Peanut: “What I do with my nine-and-a-half has fuck all to do with you.” BUT LIKE WHAT IF IT DOES? I love how despite their antagonism and Peanut’s deep-seated bigotry, Peanut still agrees to go to a gay bar with Meredith because he wants something to eat. I don’t understand. So clearly there must be creaky old man porn. (Also maybe Peanut and Meredith accidentally banged in the 80s.)
I adored the scene with Meredith trying to calm Colin down. All the voice kink yes please? Has this happened before? Perhaps post-film Colin accidentally moves in with Meredith and is annoyed at all the sex he has. Or maybe Colin endeavours to help Meredith feel things and this may or may not lead to porn.
Colin and Loverboy keep running into each other after the film. Loverboy does work in a restaurant so maybe Colin just likes the restaurant? Or maybe Loverboy gets a new job at Colin’s favourite pizza place. I don’t know.
Meredith dubcons Loverboy post-film for the lols. Bonus for Colin’s reaction. Or maybe they were already special “friends” by the time Colin masterminds the kidnapping. What changes?
Fandom: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV): Josh Chan/Nathaniel Plimpton III, Josh Groban & Santa Ana Winds
I love this show. I especially love Josh and Nathaniel’s friendship towards the end of the show and I want to see more! I feel like they’d get along fantastically together. I’d love nighttime adventures at the zoo; maybe they accidentally acquire a hot dog truck and go on a road trip? Two guys who watch a lot of sports together are...just two guys who watch a lot of sports together! I mean, what gives with everyone thinking they’re dating?
Josh Groban & the Santa Ana Winds guy is a combination that wins at life. I’d love to see anything. Whether they have downtime and keep meeting up at Serrano’s, or they team up to heckle other people for their bad decisions. Or maybe Santa Ana takes Josh shopping for something snazzier so that he isn't stuck in his walk of shame outfit all the time? Feel free to get as absurd as you like!
I also like everyone on this show, so if you have a favorite and want to write about them to fill out the plot feel free! My faves if you’d like some guidance are Heather, George, Dr. Akopian (I guess both of them), Santino-shaped Greg, and Grocery Clerk with half an eyelid, Josh’s Mom. (I mean, can you imagine Nathaniel giving good parent? I think it totally works.)
Fandom: In Bruges (2008): Ken & or / Ray
I adore this movie. I love how rude and cynical it is, but I also love that our um, heroes feel very human. The fact that Martin McDonagh probably wrote this as a fic to satisfy the trope ONLY ONE BED is beautiful. I really like the way Ken and Ray take care of each other in spite of the fact they’re in a cutthroat business. Literally. I ship them but then again, I also really enjoy friendship fic, so please don’t feel obligated towards one or the other.
I live for awkward sex, and I feel like Ken/Ray are prime candidates for this. I’m all over hooker AUs as backstory, they realize that being sexually active with each other really annoys Harry, etc. I’m also very into fake dating while undercover, or maybe accidentally getting married in Vegas or Blackpool, or getting married for realisies so they don’t have to testify against each other in court.
Uh, maybe I missed the point of the movie, but please someone give me a fix-it. The one where Ray gets out of his scuffle and Ken somehow lives. Go wild.
The kid doesn’t die, but is severely wounded. Knowing Harry’s rule on children, how do they deal? Breaking my no kids rule for this, I just find this possibility fascinating.
Fandom: アグレッシブ烈子 | Aggretsuko (Anime): Haida/Tadano
Idk why but I ship Retsuko’s...somewhat exes? I thought them getting ramen in Hokkaido was cute and Tadano didn’t have to give him a lift back in his private helicopter but he did! I think more than liking Retsuko, Haida probably really wants someone to spoil him and Tadano could be that person. So give me them going to karaoke, accidentally getting drunk together, ENNIO judging them something fierce, and social media blowing up with Tadano’s new relationship.
Or just for the lols, Tadano buys Haida’s firm when Haida complains about his job being too hard. EVERYONE ELSE IS SHOCKED.
(I’d also be up for Retsuko finding out, but I’d like to stress that I like canon’s reasoning for why she isn’t with either guy, and I’d like her not to be bashed. I’d also like matchmaking!Retsuko or Fenneko if that strikes your fancy, I think it totally fits and lol if they approaches this like a dating sim.)
Fandom specific DNWs: Anything E-rated/explicit sexual content. Please fade to black and don’t think too hard about anatomy and how things work. If Tadano refers to Retsuko by a nickname, please use Ret-chan instead of Retsy.
Fandom: John Wick (Movies): John Wick/Marcus, John Wick & Marcus
Can I just say, I’ve been nominating them for ages and then someone else has gone and done it! Who are you??? Seriously though, these two are forever faves and I’d be interested in either the / or & variant.
For & - I’d love to hear about how John learned to be a sniper. As that’s Marcus’s speciality, it makes sense that John would at least kind of know how to defend at long range but...1.) we never see him do it in the movies (at least not that I know? Feel free to prove me wrong) and 2.) it just doesn’t seem very John Wick like. How exactly did Marcus get his way in the end? It could be as absurd as “John broke his leg during ballet and can’t run around aha.” He’s gonna sit there okay, and learn patience.
I’d love John teaching Marcus how to be a dog person. IDK.
Marcus attempts to put John on a diet. Or maybe pre canon mentorfic requires Marcus to introduce John to food outside of the Theatre. Honestly I’m just a big fan of watching Keanu Reeves eat. I’m sure Willem feels the same.
Marcus during a mission says “I’m something of a scientist myself” and John shoots him off the roof. Make this work, and you’ll just...be amazing.
For / - Just copying over from Smut4Smut because want!
-Helen dies; John goes to Marcus and asks for sex. Make it as messy (both as emotionally and physically) as you'd like.
-John doesn't deal well with retirement. Marcus doesn't deal well with not having John to snark at. This leads to many unhealthy decisions but mostly sex.
-Marcus and John play a version of the penis game (for the uninitiated it's where you progressively shout 'penis' louder in a public space until someone gives you the Evil Eye). Their version includes actual hand jobs, blow jobs etc.
-I don't know why, but I like the idea of the mutual masturbation tag coming into play after failed awkward sex.
And for the wacky off the wall? Marcus is a Shinigami who follows John around JW 2 & 3. Because Jesus Harold Christ. (Yes, I’ll keep asking until I get it. :D)
Or maybe John keeps reliving JW 1 over and over again until he realizes Marcus can’t really be saved.